Sunday Newsletter

Masses Today

6.30: (Vigil) Michael & Peg Molloy; (Anniv).
11.00: Josephine & Joseph Kelly; (Anniv).
6.30: Michael & Mary O'Malley, (Anniv).

As I Was Saying...

As you know, pre-Marriage Courses are now mandatory in every diocese. Initially, it was very difficult to 'sell' this idea. I experienced this negativity on the double since I was involved also in 'giving' the courses locally. On occasions, a number of couples made it known that they were there under protest. And their discontent rarely had anything to do with the substance of the course. Their objection was to the fact of the course, not its content: "Why do we have to take this course? My marriage is nobody's business but my own."

Before the birth of philosophy, the ancient Greeks expressed their wisdom through mythical stories. One of the better know is 'the myth of Narcissus.' Narcissus was the son of the river god, Cephissus. He was very beautiful and very vain. A nymph named Echo fell in love with him. He didn't respond. This indifference caused her to pine away until she was merely a voice.

So the god Nemesis decided to punish Narcissus for his vanity. He caused him to go for a drink at a pool. When he saw his reflection in the water, Narcissus was overcome with his own beauty. He fell in love with himself immediately. Turned inward and paralyzed by his obsession with himself, he withered away and became a flower that still bears his name.

Today psychology uses his name to denote excessive self-preoccupation. We are obsessed with, if not in love with, ourselves. We are growing indifferent to any reality beyond our own private lives. So much so in fact that we find it difficult to act out of any motivation beyond that of 'doing our own thing'.

Self-development is pursued with a sense of duty once reserved for religion. How deeply we are influenced by this ideal is evident in a variety of ways, including what and who we admire. Neil Postman, in his book 'Amusing Ourselves to Death', describes a ceremony at Yale where honorary doctorates were awarded, including one to Mother Theresa. As she and the others lined up to received their degrees, the audience applauded politely, but with a slight hint of impatience, "for it wished to give its heart to the final recipient who waited shyly in the wings." As the details of her achievements were read, many of the audience surged toward the stage. When the name of the final recipient Meryl Streep was announced, the audience "unleashed a sonic boom of affection, enough to wake the New Haven dead." Meryl Streep is a fine actress, but the point of the story is the reaction of the audience. They were politely curious about Mother Theresa; they were passionately enthusiastic about Meryl Streep. In her beautiful face they saw themselves reflected. In the face of the old saint they saw squalid reality and wanted nothing to do with it! Narcissus blooms.

-Dick Lyng

HERACLITUS ON RIVERS

Nobody steps into the same river twice.
The same river is never the same
Because that is the nature of water.
Similarly your changing metabolism
Means that you are no longer you.
The cells die, and the precise
Configuration of the heavenly bodies
When she told you she loved you
Will not come again in this lifetime.

You will tell me that you have executed
A monument more lasting than bronze;
But even bronze is perishable.
Your best poem, you know the one I mean,
The very language in which the poem
Was written, and the idea of language,
All these things will pass away in time.

-DEREK MAHON

THE BEST MEDICINE

British Association for the Advancement of Science (BAAS) announced a plan a few years ago to discover the world's funniest joke. A special web site was created where visitors could submit jokes and vote on those already available for judgment. Within three months, over 100,000 people from 70 countries had visited the site, submitted a total of 10,000 jokes and rated them on a specially designed "Laughometer". The Laugh Lab's winning entry, billed as the funniest joke in the world, was the following:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. In the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce". Watson (irked by Holmes's record of brilliant deductions, decides to make a special effort): "I see millions of stars, and even if few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." Holmes: "Watson, you idiot, somebody's stolen our tent!"

Thirty-two per cent of visitors to the website were British, 30 per cent were in the US, and the rest were from Canada, Australia, Germany and other places. About 47,000 people thought that the 'Sherlock Holmes-Dr Watson' joke was the funniest. And indeed it is funny - but the funniest joke in the world? I doubt it. I thought that the joke ranked a close second was slightly funnier:

A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing. The other whips out his mobile phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps out to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"

Germany topped the Laughometer league, belying the stereotype of the people with the least developed sense of humour. Dr Wiseman also reports a sharp divergence in what men and women think is funny. Men prefer humour showing passion and sexual innuendo, and women prefer verbal play. Ten-year-olds are also very fond of basic word play, for example:

"Did you hear about the man who drowned in a bowl of muesli? He got pulled under by a very strong currant".

Different countries favoured different types of jokes. For example, the British plumped for a "Carry On" style of humour, while the French participants preferred the cynicism of:

"You're a high-priced lawyer! If I give you €500, will you answer two questions for me?" asked an acquaintance. "Absolutely!" replied the high-flying lawyer: "What's the second question?"

Now I hope you feel better.

-Dr. William Reville in The Irish Times.

Some National Proverbs

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