Sunday Newsletter

Masses Today

6.30: James & Bridget Gibbons, (Anniv).
11.00: Maura Heaney, Bowling Green, (Anniv).
6.30: Marcella & Patricia Kilkelly, (Anniv).

As I Was Saying...

Cohabiting unwed couples (traditionally and quaintly called those 'living in sin') are the fastest growing family unit in Ireland according to the most recent Census returns.

Fewer than one in five households in Dublin are now made up of the traditional mix of husband, wife and children. Today, more than 20% of children born in the UK are born to cohabiting couples. Here in Ireland, cohabiting couples represents 11.6 per cent of all family units, up from 8.4 per cent in 2002.

Trinity sociologist Dr Evelyn Mahon said the figures did reflect changes in Irish society, in particular unmarried couples' desire to have their relationships recognised legally. But do they really want their 'co-habitee' status recognised? (See the 'Nine Rights' article later).

'Living in sin' was once seen as wicked; it is now regarded as rather normal behaviour! No big deal! Now that we have civil divorce, with its legal protection for both partners, there are many who feel that cohabiting couples are legally vulnerable. Why shouldn't they have a legal framework to cope with pensions, inheritance rights, and a fair division if the couple separated? This is the question behind Dr. Mahon's remarks quoted above.

One response to this may be to ask: why not marry if you want the protection of the law? But somehow this has not been found convincing by many. In the UK too proposals are soon to be published extending rights on death and divorce to unmarried couples.

We are complex creatures. We want two things at once, which is fine until the two cancel each other out as they do in this case. At present couples are free to live together. They are not bound by 'a piece of paper'; they can make whatever private arrangements they wish to; and privacy is regarded as a 'core value' in today's world. They can part without a legal process if needs be.

The downside, of course is the risk of ending up after years of sharing a life, not only without a partner, but without a home or an income. So why not legislate to protect these people? The problem is that once the law is involved, the private nature of this kind of relationship disappears. Couples will find themselves in a public relationship whether they like it or not.

The very fact of co-habiting will confer legal status and legal responsibilities. Solicitors will be involved in break ups, with evidence being weighed on the precise nature of the relationship - how long did the couple live together? And it could get very intrusive. Exactly how many nights a week were they actually together? Who was richer to begin with and how should the poorer one be compensated?

It is imperative that we support marriage. But we can't compel people to marry. People have a right to their independence. Yet, once the law is imported into living together, the whole point of not marrying seems to me to be lost. The problem is that the law cannot always compensate us when our personal choices don't work out. It may not be a sin to live in sin, but the reason people want to do so is exactly the reason why the law should keep out of it. It may sound contradictory but it's true: legislate for co-habitees and we deprive them of their privacy and, in many ways, their freedom.

-Dick Lyng

Items of Some Interest

Our Festival Programme

A final reminder about next weekend's (June 30th) Mid- Summer Festival.

The two main features will be our Liturgy and our Barbecue. The Liturgy will have an ecumenical dimension this year since we will be joined once more by the parishioners from St. Nicholas' Church of Ireland. This will be a 'Liturgy of Light' at which The Rev'd Patrick Towers will preach with his customary eloquence (and brevity, of course!)

After the Liturgy, we will be led in a grand Procession of Light from the Church to our Priory car park, the scene of the barbecue.

As the adults are imbibing a few pre-dinner drinks, the children will eat first. They will then be brought inside the Priory to be entertained by our visiting 'Mad Scientist'. When the children have disappeared, the adults will sit down to an undisturbed hearty meal, prepared by our chef for the evening, one Peter O'Neill.

Throughout the entire proceedings, music will be provided by Rudi and his group of music-makers on strings, double-bass and fiddle, all the way from Slovakia. The entire fare will be washed down with an exceptionally smooth Merlot (2004), full bodied, and distinctly flavoured (black currant, plum, herbs).

In the meantime, a strong panel of recognised art aficionados will retire (in a still sober state) to adjudicate the Children's Art Competition. We have two categories: (1) for children from 4-10 years; (2) and a category for those from 11-17 years. The competition is open only to children from St. Augustine's and St. Nicholas'. (No opportunistic 'raiders' from unorthodox churches allowed!)

The results of the competition will be announced publicly and a fairly elaborate prize-giving ceremony will be conducted immediately after the demise of the 'Mad Scientist'. Some profound thoughts, on 'the marginalisation of the Artist' will be delivered by the Chair of the adjudicating panel, herself a marginalised artist!

Perhaps the most outstanding (and enduring) feature of the entire weekend is the floral display in the Church itself. A few women will get together for a full day this week and they will devote that day to decorating the Church with flowers. It is, in effect, a wonderful floral exhibition which has now become the most 'remarked upon' feature of the entire Festival.

So, as you will gather from the above, a heavy workload awaits us. In reality though, most of the work will be done on Friday afternoon- Saturday morning. We are 'last minute' people! So, get into the spirit of the Festival and enjoy yourselves! -D.L.

Nine Rights cohabiting couples do not have

  1. People often refer to couples who live together - maybe with their children - as "common law" husbands and wives. There is in fact no such legal status. The law describes the situation as "cohabitation".
  2. Financially supporting a cohabiting partner is not a legal duty, whereas each married partner has a legal duty to support the other, including after a split.
  3. Parental responsibility - all the rights, duties and obligations to do with children - rest with the unmarried mother unless she has registered the birth with the child's father, they have made a formal agreement or if the father has obtained a court order. There is no automatic right of the father, unlike in marriage.
  4. Cohabiting couples cannot adopt a child; one partner must apply to adopt as a single person.
  5. In banking, if one partner of a cohabiting couple dies, any money held in the deceased person's account will become the property of the estate and cannot be used until the estate is settled. In marriage, a bank may allow the remaining partner to withdraw the balance.
  6. Without a will, the surviving partner in a cohabiting partnership will not automatically inherit anything unless the couple owned property jointly.
  7. A cohabiting couple can separate informally without the intervention of a court, whereas a married couple need to go to court to end the marriage formally. In both cases, however, the court has power to make orders relating to the care of the children.
  8. The cohabiting partner of a tenant will usually have no rights to stay in the accommodation if the tenant asks them to leave. In a marriage, both partners have the right to live in the matrimonial home, no matter whose name the tenancy agreement is in.
  9. A widow's or widower's pension cannot be claimed by a cohabiting partner.

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