AS I WAS SAYING......
Since its inception, this humble newsletter attempted to engage its five or six readers in discussion and debate. It would function as a forum where you could 'let off steam' or fly kites !
With the odd exception, the newsletter has not operated at all at that level. The invitation was rarely taken up. Consequently, I was delighted last Sunday morning when a young woman approached me after Mass to take issue with some of the things I had written in last week. She did not agree at all with what I had written about teddy bears and funerals. I invited her in during the week for further discussion. She accepted the invitation. She brought two very important perspectives (perceptions?) to the discussion that I would not have had myself: she is a mother, and she is an artist. I then invited her to write down her own ideas and insights on the matter, and to publish it in the Newsletter as a response to my meandering last week. So the fine article following this is the result of that discussion.
It is entirely fortuitous and appropriate that the subject-matter should revolve around the way we mourn our dead. Because, on Friday next, as you know, we commemorate the faithful departed. Thank you very much Geraldine, and well done!!
-D.L.
WHAT WAS HE SAYING..??
I found last Sunday's reflections on graveside gestures and grieving practices very interesting. Increasingly, teddy bears and cuddly toys are replacing the traditional Catholic symbols of mourning and loss, such as the Madonna and the crucifix. This is particularly true in the case of childrens' burial sites. Fintan O'Toole has written approvingly of this development. He views it as the expression of a more gentle, humanised world. I sympathise greatly with O'Toole's viewpoint.As a parent, I recall witnessing how my children 'bonded' with their cuddly toys. In fact these toys became their most intimate and closest friends. Teddy became tattered and torn through caressing and cuddling. In the world of the child, those 'objects' developed animated personalities. In a real sense, the toys became my children's closest friends.
It makes perfect sense then, that parents, brothers and sisters would place such symbols of intimacy on the graves of their deceased children. This is secular culture expressing its most 'intimate' need to respond to a most tragic grief, the death of a child. Our society has a rich tradition of rituals for coping with grief and death: laying out the deceased, waking the body at home, lamentation in the form of music, and even the presence of professional 'keening women'. These rituals engaged the bereaved with the harsh reality of death; they helped them in their transition to the utterly changed world that future would be.
In our day these rituals have all but disappeared. Death is now 'managed' by professionals: doctors, nurses, undertakers, priests. Death, if you like, has been 'depersonalised'. Perhaps the 'teddy bear syndrome' is an attempt to redress the balance. Should we not view it as a cry for a more personal involvement with death in a public way? What was a private, personal symbol now functions in a public manner. And it draws those who gaze upon it into a materially absent but spiritually present reality.
Our graveside 'culture' forms part of the grieving process. Plastic Madonnas and inscripted ornamental artefacts can remain on graves for decades. An unspoken agreement in families inhibits the removal of such reflective symbols. In fact their exposure to the moss and weathering serves to intensify further the message of loss they signify.
In his reflective piece last week, Dick Lyng correctly noted the absence of the crucifix and the Madonna symbols at times of obvious spiritual need. While I agree with his observation, I believe his concern is misplaced. Because it begs the more obvious question: how does contemporary culture relate to figures of Jesus and Mary, for example? I believe that people still pray intensely at times of loss and grief. Privately, they seek ways of surrendering their loved ones to God. In that respect, at any rate, we do not differ at all from our ancestors. But what has changed is the visible manifestation of that process. The religious symbols of Jesus as saviour, and Mary and the angels and saints as comforters, do not seem to function effectively for contemporary believers. A gap has opened up between the believer and the image. And that gap has to do with human sensibilities.
Consequently, we need to take stock of what we want to say publicly, and the manner in which we wish to express it. (Perhaps a grieving parent will find more consolation in a 'secular' image', such as the teddy bear, than in our current traditional religious imagery?)
David Robinson, in his book 'Beautiful Death, Art of the Cemetery' explores how people throughout Europe come to terms with bereavement. He conducts a photographic exploration of funerary monuments . These expressions are found in their most exquisite form in the mid-19 century, in the cemetery in Monparnasse, Paris. The society that produced them was thoroughly secular.
-Geraldine O'Brien.
STATEMENT FROM BISHOP MCLOUGHLIN
Last week Bishop McLoughlin and the priests of the Diocese took a second step in the Process of Renewal and Development which began in the diocese in October 2000. This process was initiated to
- Examine closely the manner in which the diocese is developing and
- Prepare for a long-term pastoral strategy in response to its development.
In this context the Process will involve a re-education of both priests and people in order to enable us engage in a creative way with one another and come to an understanding of the call each of us received at Baptism. In every parish there are extraordinary depths of faith. There are unexplored reserves of commitment and energy. There are unacknowledged gifts of leadership in a whole range of parish activities.
In order to unfold the possibilities of this journey of faith together, the following proposals emerged from the Conference:
- that co-operation be engendered between three neighbouring parishes in order to achieve more efficient use of resources
e.g. parishes supporting one another in the development of Pre-Sacramental Preparation Programmes: Youth Ministry; Music & Liturgy etc.- That, with a view to improving the quality of our Sunday Mass and Liturgy, the number and times of Masses be reviewed.
Change is inevitable in anything that has life. We know how important it is to read the signs of the times and not just to let things happen. When there has been good and, therefore, prayerful discernment in reading the signs of the times, we can experience change that is real growth. This process of engagement with each other will, therefore, take time and prayerful preparation in order to ensure that the changes we make do involve growth. May the Holy Spirit and Our Lady accompany us on this journey as we seek together to put in place a pattern for the future spiritual life of the diocese.